back to the future

I have been reading my blog posts from 2010 

when I was in the losing mode 

and one thing I notice is the absence of protein shakes

I ate food 

counted points

a lot of fruit and vegetables  so in an effort to get back into my

 6's and out of my 10's 

I am going 

so real food, less processed foods 

cause I feel better when I eat REAL food 

I have been doing good 

so what happened with the Whole 30 you may ask? 

Too restrictive

I want a frigging yummy once in a while 

cream in my coffee 

yeah maybe I am addicted 

to sugar, wheat and grains 

but I lost the weight before 

I can do it again 

I have 142 days 

20 weeks and 2 days 

4 months and 20 days 

left in my work location 

and I want to feel comfortable in my skin with 

all the craziness that will come with that transition

so I read old posts 

see what worked 

mimic the old days 

so hold on 

here we go 

back to the future 

Reading for Inspiration

A gal I follow on Instagram showed this book she was reading

So I bought in on Kindle and I have been amazed!!! WOW!!!!

has made me think....

Do I (we) derail (since this is a weight loss blog) our own health goals because we are afraid?

Listen to people when they see our success when they say that we are taking it too far?

Let me think about this....

why would (have) I derailed my own efforts?

• unwanted attention
• fear of being in the spotlight
• fear of regaining and what other people would say
• fear of intimacy 
• fear of failure
• fear of success

I have done this! I can do this! Food provides no comfort for stress.... I have actually gotten on a reading kick and have ordered a few books from this Personal and professional Development web site Walkthetalk.com 

I ordered 4 books 

1. Half Full
2. Stress is a Choice 
3. Eat that Frog 
4. Start Right Stay Right 

I work with a passionate individual that NEVER seems to lose focus, they are always driven... I have never heard them spew negativity, or the "poor me" syndrome... I need some of that!!! 

so read read read .... focus focus focus... and in reading the Motivation Manifesto I think I react a lot out of fear! I need to recognize it and work through it (I haven't finished the book.... maybe it has tips for this) 

Not my usual post .....

tootles bloggity peeps  

Just to be clear

this is not a Whole 30/Paleo food 

and yes Karla 

dolt 

if you eat it and no one see's 

it still counts

this kind of happened this morning 

so food is prepped

I think I will change my workouts for the next 2 days and go late 

on the way home 

so I won't be tempted to come home and do this 

so plan is laid out 

1. egg whites, avocado and fruit 

2. ditto 

3. chocolate chili and squash 

4. chocolate chili and green beans 

5 & 6 broccoli/cauliflower soup with 

baked squash and apple chicken sausage 

I made 6 small meals 

on the Whole 30 you eat only 3 meals with ZERO snacking 

just doesn't fit for my lifestyle

I was up this morning at 3:30

food prep, blog, get ready for work 

have an hour commute to and from work 

work a ten hour day 

so I am a busy busy busy gal 

but making it work in my world 

is all about attitude and a can do spirit 

I got stuff to do!!! 

but I am going to go forth and conquer today and kick some pattottee 

cause that's how I roll 

proof you are getting older

How do you know you are getting older? 

when you have no internet, call your cable company, cuss, call your son, call your cable company 

get all resentful because you haven't had internet for the last few days 

then realize the router isn't plugged in 

dang 

yeppers... I will be moving and a shaking well into my 80's 

more on my Whole 30 journey tonight... 

I am not a quitter

I am not a quitter 

I am not a loser 

I fall down, I pick myself up 

something doesn't work 

I may try it again, and again and again 

well I never said I was quick 

I may try stupid stuff, have crazy ideas 

but I am not a quitter 

I am a fighter 

and yes I get down 

I feel defeated at times 

but I set my mind to a goal 

and I work towards it 

I have heard, it's not a sprint... it's a marathon 

and yes I fall down 

get discouraged

take 10 steps back and have trouble seeing the path 

but I don't quit

I fight 

I pick myself up, dust myself off 

quiet the voices in my head that say I can't do it 

and read motivational blogs, stories, quotes 

anything that will help lift my spirit 

and I keep going 

because I feel fortunate that today I have that chance 

today I have a choice 

and I choose to feel hopeful 

focused, motivated 

Here's to a good day 

because every day is a chance at a new beginning 

a chance for a good outcome 

no matter what today brings 

it is all in my attitude and how I choose to look at the day 

I choose 

it's my choice 

How will you choose? 

boo sad face

Whole 30 days = 17
binge = 1

boo sad face

I know any deviation from the food list is a no no for whole 30 but without a bit of balance I dove into deep ass water and went cray cray

don't even know what triggered me

so I am going to chill for a few days and not jump right back into Whole 30 and snoop around the Paleo blogs and see if I can find a little sumpin sumpin for nights

I used to make a faux ice cream out of just frozen strawberries, almond milk and sweetener and it totally satisfied me ... and the whole "suck it up thing".... well nah that doesn't work for me... I am living in whimp world

feeling like I let myself down

maybe I will just go back to having a shake at night with fruit, sweetener and some almond milk

sheesh everyone is like dialed in and I am still having trouble staying 100% committed ... but dang 17 days is a long streak!!! give the girl some credit!


I have a big asp meeting all day today and I am car pooling with a group of others, so I am going to chill today... eat restaurant breakfast along with the others... and I am sure the lunch they are serving contains salad

I like the Whole 30 I am just going to add the shake at night ...

Sunday food prep day

today has so far not been a stellar food day 

eggs, hash brown and 2 slices of bacon 

which is all okay but I am sure the bacon had some added sugar 

banana with almond butter, and more nut butter and more and then oh yeah some more 

so I meal prepped 

green beans and cauliflower 

cooked cabbage 

acorn squash and a yam 

under all these onions, mushrooms, peppers and asparagus is some 

pasta sauce and turkey patties 

and hard boiled eggs 

oh and where all my tastes, tastes and tastes came from 

I had a jar of Nutzo... I didn't like the consistency 

too sticky 

so I had some raw hazelnuts, raw cashews and I 

bought some raw almonds... threw it all into the food processor 

added a bit of coconut oil

let it whirl for about 10 minutes 

awe dang 

total freaking deliciousness 

oh a side giggle note 

I am a grocery store manager 

I couldn't resist 

can't wait to wear it to the next district meeting