Food drunk

Good morning 

I am a sober alcoholic. I don't drink. I am an UGLY person for YEARS when I drink 

I have done some damage to .....

Well ya get it ...

The problem with being "sober" is when you are an alcoholic.... You still have the behaviors

Where have I been? Barely posting on Instagram? Hardly a new blog post to be found? Not texting my trainer ..... Yep.... Off on a food drunk 

Damage was MAJOR!!!! Shame, guilt and discomfort all there.... I started to go in to the typical response.... Falling out of sight... No one will know... I can get my weight back down before anyone notice... Quiet Karla.... Deal with it.... Just drop outta sight for a while.... No one will notice

 

NO!!!!

When I have a lot of turmoil in my life I react... I don't drink alcohol any more so I turn to the next thing.... Food!!!

Cookies

Candy bars

Chocolate covered peanut

Ice cream 

All for what??? I know I have the personality that I am a MAJOR control FREAK!!! And when I don't know what is in my future .... When there is uncertainty, the behaviors come back ...

You would think I would have figured out how to cope by now, huh??? Derp

So there it is my confessional 

I was as high as 139.8 up from 133 

This morning 137.8....it is not JUST about the number on the scale it is the feelings that are associated with the out of control behavior, the feelings of helplessness... Anxiety, fear, and all the craziness inside my head!!! 

Breath Karla, take life ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!! Sometimes I have to remind myself one whole day is too much... Take it a minute at a time

I appear on the outside all relaxed, but the craziness inside my head is what drives the out of control eating behaviors. If I don't know how things are going to go... I have to let go of the situation, give it to my higher power.... Let Go and Let God

I have to call someone... (my trainer) Or blog... Or Instagram, or text my sister or my daughter 

Reach out 

Man do I feel better... Love you guys 

How is it going?

new food plan???

I have not been even a tinsy ensy bit hungry these last two days

I was up in my weight this morning up from 133 to 135

but given my MEGA binge the other night (before I switched around my diet plan) it is to be expected

Now I just need to trust this whole process...

I feel like I am eating too much... BUT it is only about 1500 calories, up from my 1200

I think this will keep me from going on those Gawd awful binges... I sure hope so!!!

I have a gigantor list of "to do's" today on my "day off"

I am an uber busy gal :)

tootles

New food plan

so here is the new plan ... some thoughts

we added healthy fats, in the 1/4 avocado in the morning 

added more carbs... so I am not hungry all the time and am prone to binge eating 

and it is only 2 ounces of Quinoa... please!!! no big deal!!! 

added back in my beloved Greek yogurt... I haven't had Greek yogurt in MONTHS!!! 

put all carb meals before 3pm 

put the Casein shake at night, it makes me feel fuller and it is a slow digesting protein so it will feed my muscles 

(according to my daughter) 

so we will see 

turkey

broccoli 

2 ounces of Quinoa and some Chili paste 

my new mash 

has cauliflower; ground up like rice 

spaghetti squash; shredded and cut up 

carrots; baked WELL done and ground up... er kinda.. like rice 

carrots did not want to cooperate :P 

Karla... ohhh Karla 

this saying is for you!!!! 

I need reminding sometimes 

OMG!!! sooooo freakin good 

6 oz plain Greek 0% yogurt

3 ounces raspberries 

18 almonds crushed up 

a few packets of Stevia 

delish!! 

4 egg whites with cayenne and black pepper 

a mashed up 1/4 avocado 

on Ezekiel bread 

a shake 

I walked for 56 minutes

did about 45 minutes of circuit training 

my Fit bit says I got in 17578 steps 

burned 2025 calories 

boom!!! good day 

Boo

Not doing good

Food binge last night

I wrote a new diet and upped my calories and carbs 

I am getting sick of being hungry ALL the time 

Off to the store, I will go into my new plan in more detail later 

Oh well ..., I am more of the Old Navy workout clothes kinda gal .... Boo 

I really wanted to make my 90-10 

No no no Karla!!!! Wrong attitude 

YOU CAN DO IT!!!! 

Meeting day

I was up and out of the house quick, quick, quick... I make a shaker of coffee every morning ... one shake of protein coffee and some extra coffee... cause lets face it you can never have enough coffee.... right? 

tee hee 

OMG!!! these bad boys were in front of me for HOURS!!!! not even a crumb!!! 

BOOM!!!! in your face!!!

my Kale salad ... baggie style 

water and my car paper towels... the lid on my water wasn't fitting correctly 

Bag lady 

this was the plan... 

after the gym... off to the MIL's...  hubby was having Mexican food with the MIL, so I opted for a boxed protein drink...

then we got home and I had a cup of tea, blueberries and a rice cake with peanut butter 

I count that as a WIN... compared to the yummo Mexican food, tortilla chips and cookies that were in MY FACE all day!!! 

score one for the Maintenance girl!!!

How do I stay on track and overcome the boredom??

stay inspired, read blogs, read the instagrams, pinterest, magazines, books... try new things fitness wise and food wise

understand it is a journey and not a destination

some days the road is smooth sailing and other days it is HARD AS CAN BE!!!!

gotta go 

temptation

veggies, 3 ounces chicken 

all piled up and ready to go...going from top to bottom

 left: 1/4 cup steel cut oats 

right: 3 egg whites

left: apple and blueberries in cinnamon

right protein shake, I added this to a trente iced coffee... yummo 

second from bottom: green beans and 4 ounces fish

bottom: veggies and chicken 

I usually pack the night before... saves time in the morning  

the fish and green beans 

apple with blueberries 

the shake (Costco) actually I bought this for the MIL and I tried it... for sure!!! in case of an emergency... and it is kind of thick and no clumping (if you wanted to add it to your morning coffee) 160 calories 30 grams of protein and only 3 fat  

dinner... 4 whites... or maybe 5

also 18 almonds 

100% on plan... but I didn't do any exercising today... That is going to be the hardest in my 90-10 focus is getting in 4 days of exercise 

oh I forgot the temptation part... during my conference call under one of the desks (food stash of one of my office mate's) was Special K cereal bars and chips.... grrrrr I wanted that silly Special K bar... and it was ONLY 100 calories... but I thought of my Lululemon outfit and I DID NOT eat it... but I wanted too... 

hopefully it'll be gone by the time I get to work tomorrow 

tootles bloggity world.... 

Sunday cook day

protein coffee

3 egg whites and Ezekiel toast 

4 oz fish

green beans

broccoli

squash

cauliflower/carrot mash... YUMMO!!

shake with blueberries and in the midst of a cooking day 

3 oz chicken

cauliflower/carrot mash 

spaghetti squash 

my first attempt at Paleo bread.... meh :|

my niece suggested crumble it over soup... I may freeze it 

snacked on some olives 

I am supposed to eat again.... don't think I will... SOOOO full 

got in a teeny bit of cardio, 20 minutes

water check 

food check 

off to pack tomorrows food... I LOVE when the house is stocked up with yummy food .... makes my life SO much easier!!! 

tootles