Saturday, August 11, 2018

saturday morning thoughts

It's been a good week 
I have been in action 
and no not the shoving food in my face kinda action
Yeah I fell off my plan 
hid for a bit 
but I am back 
 put some good solid support in place 
and it's not ALL settled yet 
but in the works
feeling so so much better 
I get into trouble when I isolate 
I need support 
peeps 
my homies 
y'all 
yeah sorry this is as much about you as it is about me! 
so today's plan? 
I am going to try something totally NEW!!! 
Zumba! 
yeah girl here ain't got an ounce of rhythm in her body 
so it'll be interesting 
but fun I am sure! 
movies later with da hubby 
and staying connected to support 
yo peace! 




Tuesday, August 7, 2018

Figuring some stuff out

I have taken steps 
scary steps 
but time to do some work 
it's not so much about the number on the scale 
but the relationship with the food that is the issue now. 
I had ALWAYS thought just MY journey and it is kinda.... 
but if I choose to go this alone it is harder
 and I feel scared, I lie to myself  I sabotage myself. 
I am learning (have learned) I need support from several different sources 
I will figure this out
I AM doing this and what I have come to understand is 
smaller Karla is an anomaly 
definition of anomaly: something that deviates from what is standard, normal, or expected

so I have to make friends with smaller Karla when she gets here 
and she is kinda scary 
okay I have officially entered weirdo zone here 
but I truly think getting there isn't/wasn't the problem 
and so why was staying there (goal weight) such a problem? 
it's weird after being 50-60 pounds more for pretty much the majority of my life  
to all of a sudden to expect to just be okay and accepting and 
to SEE myself as this smaller human 

okay have I lost everyone here? 
I know my issue 
being okay with smaller me 
I know what I need 
support and accountability
and perhaps some therapy.... that I am in process of setting up 
why can't everything just be yeah or nay? 
life's complicated 
ahhh I miss the old days when I used to just think 
calories in vs calories out 
unfortunately life just isn't that simple 
work to do 
on the daily today's plan 
coffee
blog
work out 
shower
eat
read
relax
 a call tonight 
then relax some more 
tootles 

Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Today's plan

why is today important?
it's day three
day three always seems to be an especially hard day
don't know why
so let's think this out
I have my food packed
work today is 6-430
yeah the grocery business is a hard taskmaster
I have all my food sitting on the kitchen counter
Also have my gallon of water
and I saved a meal for when I get home to have with the hubster
no workout today
6AM start time
I don't want to build up today in my head
I have a few audio books in my phone
and a link to a recorded call
so the drive home I can listen and chill
don't make today a bigger deal than it is
I read this morning
worked on my mindset
I packed my food
I FEEL GREAT!
so pick up the tools
I will reach out today if I am struggling
I have several avenues of help if needed
this may seem so freakin silly to some
but I just want to stop the craziness
plan is this:
NEVER less than 1500 calories
NEVER more than 1700
less than 1500 usually results in a binge
so today's plan is 1549
I'll drop a comment on this post right before bed tonight
SERF ....
spirituality, exercise, rest and food and I think accountability and support
plans for the day

tootles
love, peace and chicken grease
off to work I go

Monday, July 16, 2018

Odd

The smallest shift 
The tiniest adjustment 
Not a diet 
Not about losing weight 
Yesterday I went walking .... I went for a long walk

Not to burn off calories 
Not burn to earn 
But because I feel better when I move my body 
And I made a realistic plan 
Not this crazy low calorie lose weight plan 
But a doable, eat food plan 
And there were moments I can’t lie 
Moments I thought 
Oh have Less 
Weight loss will be faster 
But that’s not the goal 
Living my life is the goal 
Stopping the crazies is the goal 
First three days are always the easiest 
Not to dismiss the day 
But I ate 
Moved 
And didn’t worry about weight 
Kept the integrity of the plan
Sean rip off much there Karla?
yesterdays food:
and numbers were 100% within plan 
Goals are for another blog topic
gotta run gym time
love, peace and chicken grease 😊

Sunday, July 15, 2018

Thank you Charles Schulz

I have been reading Sean's blog like crazy 
trying to figure this out 
why is this such a battle? 
when did the train leave the tracks? 
and the bigger question... 
why? 
if you have read this blog I am either really ON or really OFF
so I am going to focus on my friend's perspective 
to look at this like a plan 
and it has guard rails 
make a REALISTIC daily calorie bank 
stealing a plan there much Karla? 
whatever it is obviously working for my homie Sean 
so I am a plan stealer 
but I will tweek it to me 
what derails me? 
evenings are my achilles heal 
so I need a plan for evenings 
I get sick of hearing myself so sometimes I don't blog cause it's the same 
like that Snoopy character 

flapping my lips but it's all blah blah blah 
but it's mine to figure out 
and some people that I respect SO MUCH 
are always on 
always dialed 
always diligent 
always aware 
never seem to fall, they enjoy life, relax but don't ever seem to truly struggle 

me? This isn't my story 
I struggle 
every stinkin day 
and regain has been in my life since freakin birth! 
I am not anywhere near where I was 
but my mindset is slippin 
and I can feel it 
it's mayhem right now 
doctors appointment coming up soon 
I need to focus on health 
a plan, a life time doable plan 
not a diet 
diets do not work for me 
::::::sigh::::: 
why do I even write this dribble 
why are you even reading this? 
okay come on girl 
change your state 
I am going to go for a walk
right freaking now my peeps 
and take this day and make it 
my biotch 
change your space 
change your state 
I can do just today
for today 
just today 
dang this girl is a mess! 




Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Quickie

All good here in Cali 

I’m not worried about a diet 

I’m not worried about losing weight 

and it’s weird I’m just worried about taking care of myself 

I have been unfollowing toxic people on social media 

I’ve been reading in the mornings 

I’ve been staying away from sugars and it’s just crazy how in like a week today is actually day for 100% on plan I feel so much better it’s not just the weight that I’ve dropped in the last 10 days it’s the weight off of my shoulders that I have dropped and you know my coach always tells me

It’s from the inside out

That podcast I listened to totally resonated about taking care of your gut health 

I’ve been paying extra attention to that and it seems to also be helping

Yes using the meal prep service was kind of a cheat but tomorrow I will cook and I’ve cooked like 1 million times so I totally know what to make

The whole tweeting thing seems to be helping also

Here’s to another on plan day 

No dieting 
No restricting 
No self shaming talk 
No sugar 

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

keeping on keeping on

yesterday went well 
I wasn't as good with the pictures and twitter though 
I stayed to the food plan 
only "thing" would have been the caffeine free Diet coke 
every day when I eat according to plan 
I feel better and then I am always 
wondering.... why I go off plan 
I was listening to a podcast on the way home last night 
that got me thinking about gut health 
and the why's of food cravings 
and reading on the internet this morning 
interesting stuff 
okay onto another day "on plan" 
what I have done that I haven't mentioned 
to make sure I get my gallon of water in 
I bought a gallon container 
$8 at Sprouts 
but Amazon only has about a gazillion choices 😂
it honestly has helped to make sure 
#1 I get my water in 
and #2 that I am DONE with my water no later than 3pm (so I sleep uninterrupted) 
so here we go 
another work day 
gym this morning at 5:30 AM 
work 10-8 ugh 
and food is all planned, measured, weighed and recorded (friend me at My Fitness Pal) 

tootles my noodles 







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