Saturday, February 18, 2012

3:30 in the morning

So i am feeling like a failure
I went OFF the charts food crazy yesterday

Yogurt pretzles
Almonds
M&M's
Popcorn
Fiber One brownies

My stomach hurts

I have an addictive personality

I am a all or nothing person

This is the one area in my life where that isn't the case

CAN'T be the case

I mess up, you mess up, we all stumble

I have such a hard time forgiving myself

It messes with my head

Accepting that I am not that example of perfection

Because I want to be the person that CAN keep the weight off

I don't want to be the statistic

The one that gained it all back... And more

Because bloggers I RESPECT BIG time have

They have gained

I. Do. Not. Want. That. To. Be. Me.

Even if I don't post pictures, I STILL ate it (stupid head!!!)

Must be time to mix up the menu a bit....

Bring back the the turkey wrap, salads, maybe even my home made muffins

3:30 AM and my mind is spinning, food thoughts

I need to sleep now.......

5 comments:

  1. I'm not sure what the right approach to this is. On the one side, yes, you ate too much and messed up. Is it the end of the world? No. What makes or breaks you is what you do next I think. Brush it off and move forward, do what you can to not do it again. :)

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  2. Hi, just found your blog on the Bethany Memorial blogroll. Just wanted to say, try not to beat yourself up too much about it. It's best just to make healthy choices today and move on. We have all been there. The past is the past. Focus on the future! :) Look forward to reading your blog. -Jenn

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  3. I'm that all or nothing type of person too. I know it is hard to work around food and also have people in your family who eat a lot of the things you want to avoid. We have to keep working on the goal of refusing to regain. Don't give up! I'm heading back to Tucson where my daughter always has snacks around. Makes it MUCH harder. :)

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  4. OK OK OK
    Let's sort it out....
    FIRST, sometimes the slightest detour can cause the biggest binge.
    I realized this (for me) last summer... one little bite - I can't do it!
    I SHOULD be able to AND/BUT I just CAN NOT.
    Remember the time you burned those Vita-Tops?
    Maybe burn them again.... in your mind....
    and JUST FOR TODAY.... NO DETOURS into 'CandyLand" or Sweetie-Pie land...
    *wink*

    And second.... protein is good... good fats are good.... we can't live without them.
    All that gym work... it can add muscle... Do you use an Impedance Scale?
    They show fat gain and lean body gain.

    I did for a fact gain 5 pounds of fat over the past months...
    took about a month of uber-hard over the top work to get it off!
    I am with you. I REFUSE to have worked this hard - just to regain!

    GO GO KARLA! It's all good! As are you!

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  5. I'm totally with Carb Tripper Anne. It may be time to avoid those little detours and start mentally burning the bad foods in your mind. Also, she's right again about the protein and good fats being necessary to get your body where you need it to be: healthy and working.

    You are so right, too. Don't gain it back. You've worked too hard and come too far to let popcorn and M&Ms destroy your efforts.

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