Saturday, April 28, 2012

serious serious morning reflections


Why is maintenance so hard?
Why do so many people gain the weight back?
There is a reaction for every action, right?

Eat too much = weigh too much
But it is a delayed reaction, I may weigh more today (I wouldn't know as I was too scared to face the scale)
BUT my pants fit last night, I am going to the gym this morning and the gym folks won't be freaking out over the overnight weight gain from yesterday

The reaction is delayed....
Duh, right? BUT follow me here .... Its like we are the instant gratification world, I want it now... BOOM ...got it!!! Even weight loss... "oh I have been dieting, and this isn't working" says the person that is giving up after a week, a month, even 6 months... It takes a LIFE change not an instant fix..

So have I talked myself into a circle here... Hummm

Oh yeah, back to the instant fix theory, so anyway... When there is no instant penalty for my eating badly, my brain probably thinks ...."hey!!! Karla.. Wow cool!!! We got away with it, lets eat more... You know you love candy, Fritos, cookies, nuts and frozen yogurt" (everything I pretty much ate yesterday)

Then a day goes by, then two...three... Now I am starting to pay and pay BIG time, not just in my clothes but in my self esteem and confidence....
  • Then comes the "ahhh screw it phase" 
  • Then the "I can eat this, I work hard, it is JUST one trip to Mickey D's"
  • Then the criticism phase... Bashing how diligent others are and trying to justify my lack there of
  • Then the hiding stage... Pulling the clothes out of the dryer.... And STRETCHING the clothes while they are hot to make them bigger

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is why blogging has been the ONLY thing that has worked for me

I can't check in once a week (Weight Watchers, Jenny Craig)
I am a person that needs to check in daily.... I need this!!! This blog... YOU out there!!!!!!

I have to be TOTALLY honest day to day and show silly repetitious pictures of boring food to be honest because I am scared, terrified actually .....

I don't want to go back Crying face
(ok tearing up here.... What a sap!!!!)

But this is hard core stuff for me... I am an old bat .... 52....
And I used soooo many years being obese, silly... So silly and sad that I don't want to waste any more years
This is life.... Right here..... RIGHT NOW!!!!!
Plans are great, but this moment in time is my life!!!!!

I want to enjoy it ..... The last 28 months (entire time I have been blogging) I have had a better feeling of self esteem and self confidence that has spilled over into my attitude about life in general and I am actually having better relationships...
With everyone I encounter... Even strangers!!!!!

And all those years food was the culprit!!! I gave away my power to be happy and enjoy my life to food!!!

So this may isn't just about dieting for me, this is about learning to embrace and enjoy life for me by being honest with a bunch of you and as an added bonus has led into building friendships

Ok enough outta me this morningOpen-mouthed smile

See ya tonight

7 comments:

  1. I agree. It's the accountability for me. I need to know I can reach out and someone will
    Reply. Maintenance is tough.

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  2. Yep, we just keep on keeping on. I don't think any of us want to go back but I see people on their way back to their old selves and they seem unable to stop. I still believe a LOT of us are addicted to carbs. Boo hiss on carbs and more carbs. :)

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  3. I never want to go back either. I also want to get to my goal! Being honest with myself is so important. Great post!

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  4. Sending a big supportive hug your way Karla!!!!

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  5. Wow Karla!! Such a great and honest post. I truly feel I could have written it all myself - I relate that well to what you've said.

    I don't want to go back either and I feel like I do have years I've wasted being heavy, self-loathing, lacking energy and lacking a love of life. There is no more time to waste! Life is short.

    I LOVE that you blog what you eat and keep yourself accountable. And if that is what you need to do then DO IT.. and you are. Because you know you are WORTH that! Your life is worth celebrating and living to it's fullest.

    So we work it out, each day, forgiving ourselves when we need to and celebrating every good choice!

    I appreciate the support and comments you've given me in my journey. I think you are FABULOUS!

    Much love,
    ~Margene

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  6. Gotcha!! I definitely agree with everything you said :)

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