I am a sober alcoholic. I don't drink. I am an UGLY person for YEARS when I drink
I have done some damage to .....
Well ya get it ...
The problem with being "sober" is when you are an alcoholic.... You still have the behaviors
Where have I been? Barely posting on Instagram? Hardly a new blog post to be found? Not texting my trainer ..... Yep.... Off on a food drunk
Damage was MAJOR!!!! Shame, guilt and discomfort all there.... I started to go in to the typical response.... Falling out of sight... No one will know... I can get my weight back down before anyone notice... Quiet Karla.... Deal with it.... Just drop outta sight for a while.... No one will notice
When I have a lot of turmoil in my life I react... I don't drink alcohol any more so I turn to the next thing.... Food!!!
Chocolate covered peanut
All for what??? I know I have the personality that I am a MAJOR control FREAK!!! And when I don't know what is in my future .... When there is uncertainty, the behaviors come back ...
You would think I would have figured out how to cope by now, huh??? Derp
So there it is my confessional
I was as high as 139.8 up from 133
This morning 137.8....it is not JUST about the number on the scale it is the feelings that are associated with the out of control behavior, the feelings of helplessness... Anxiety, fear, and all the craziness inside my head!!!
Breath Karla, take life ONE DAY AT A TIME!!!! Sometimes I have to remind myself one whole day is too much... Take it a minute at a time
I appear on the outside all relaxed, but the craziness inside my head is what drives the out of control eating behaviors. If I don't know how things are going to go... I have to let go of the situation, give it to my higher power.... Let Go and Let God
I have to call someone... (my trainer) Or blog... Or Instagram, or text my sister or my daughter
Man do I feel better... Love you guys