Saturday, July 6, 2013

Good morning blog friends, Karla here 😃😃😃

You know how you feel lost. There is no hope. No matter what you try it just isn't working? I have kind of been in that place for a while now. My weight this morning was 140.4

It is almost 8 pounds up from my lowest. I try more calories and I think it is permission to eat like a maniac. I do not understand where this is coming from.  Maybe this is how maintenance is and I'm just being too hard on myself?

The up the down is that how this goes? Sometimes you feel like you are in control and other times you feel out of control

My clothes fit
But I feel like there is a dirty secret

The white bread and margarine late at night secret

I just start small... An extra bite here and extra bite there... And then it is like a freight train out of control

I'm going on vacation again. Today is the last day to work... So for 8 days I'm going to kill it in the gym do tons of cardio and eat really clean

Because Monday, July 15. I am going into a new environment at work, there will be uncertainty and challenges the process of learning new things ... Gaining confidence, Interacting with My peers and more office people

So there is the whole gaining confidence thing and nervousness about a new environment... But I cannot keep using that as an excuse

Life has ups and downs and I need to learn how to deal with it, Without drowning myself in my food or whatever other unhealthy choices  

So today my food is packed and I even allowed for myself to have a frozen yogurt

I am tracking my calories on the phone app lose it

I am wearing my Fitbit

And I'm writing about all of the reasons that I'm going to be successful...  I'm being accountable to you....  yes you the person sitting at the computer reading this

You may not know me but you are helping me

You may have never met me and don't even know my full name but you are helping me

You're helping me just by being there 

Because sometimes you just need to talk out the problem and not really get the feedback just talk it out and that's  what I'm doing... Solving my own problem by blogging about it

Thank you for being there for me

Okay now I'm going to go out and have a kick ass day

5 comments:

  1. It's hard isn't it!
    I really understand about the changing workplace that must give you a lot of stress. But hey it may be the best thing yet. You never know. I know I haven't blogged as much lately and yesterday I received some ready bad family news. It is what it is and we just have to keep going.
    Enjoy your time off of work and no doubt you'll come up with a plan that will work for you.

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  2. You are not alone, Karla! I've re-gained twice, a few bites here, a few bites there.

    The third time was different. I had some sort of clarity/break through sort of vision. A line in the sand that I could not go back across.

    Reading that book- Refuse to Regain (after I had gotten gluten free) really helped. Getting grains, processed foods, legumes out of my diet sent me down the recovery path for the last 17 months.

    It's my choices that keep me here. I'm only 1 bite away from loosing my food sobriety at any moment of the day. In fact, I did by eating mint jelly with a lamb dish over vacation. I felt weird and thought back- ah, sugar in the jelly. Triggered. I accepted it and moved on, recognizing the lapse.

    But it sure is easier to navigate maintenance knowing my triggers and eating a protein/veggie/few fruits/oils- like avocado-olive-coconut. I can tolerate 85% dark chocolate in small amounts.

    Anyhoo- just know you are not alone. I've traveled the path many times. And still do.

    I hope that your time off brings you moments of clarity and some process changes.

    So many people say you have to be a "rock star" to be in weight maintenance. I call bunk on that. It's a matter of problem solving, process changes, being open to getting a food/life template that works. Day in day out.

    Here's to finding what you need to find. For me, it started with 8-10 weeks gluten free and I took it way further.

    Safe travels and I'm rooting for you. Keep looking for what it is you need. It will present itself.

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  3. I am glad you allowed the froyo...now those protein pops are interesting..do you have to use coconut milk? what about almond milk? or plain yogurt but add fruit bits..or coco powder or coffee...I must experiement.....there's a fancy -ultra- old- southern- money 'ladies ' restaurant in Atlanta that serves essentially a frozen fruit pop but formed in a tart mold...It's probably nothing but fruit , sugar and cream...I've tried making a healthy version that failed..., but maybe your recipe would work.

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