Change

2 egg whites and an entire egg salad on an Oroweat thin 

3 ounces of corned beef, carrots, cabbage a bit of margarine

salad with 3 ozs of chicken 

oats, flax and hemp with some almond butter and a container of my vitamins 

soup with some turkey meat balls added 

I stopped on a whim at an old frozen yogurt shop I used to frequent

may be back on my radar!! 

Greek yogurt 

I had 1509 calories 

carbs 103

protein 128

fat 64

I am good with this!! calories too low = crazy binge and it is just unrealistic for me to keep 900-1200 calories ... so I ate good and I am happy happy happy 

life news.... emotions are settling down

getting a bit back to normal... different but okay 

change is good

I guess the only thing that is consistent IS change 

so I am going to embrace it 

tootles bloggity folks 

well of course not

I ate way too much hummus and carrots today!!! soo yummo 

breakfast 

I love this stuff :) it's an acquired taste I am told 

a treat 

some meal prep for the week. Turkey meat balls 

and stocking up on nut butters 

ahhhh yummo!! 

Greek yogurt with strawberries

I think next week I will try Greek yogurt with nut butter!! 

some crock pot chicken for the week 

2 chicken breasts, some Franks Red Hot sauce and some Pico Pica and 5 hours later..

Viola 

I tried my hand at home made protein bars 

super yummy but I don't think I will make them again

they are in the freezer... safely tucked away so I don't eat the whole friggin batch!!

oh and maybe some M&M's 

but I didn't take a picture of those....

well of course not!!! 

What relaxes me

Last week was exhausting. 

Emotionally more than physically... but when my emotions run high I don't sleep well... so this all ties together... throw in a district meeting full of all the tempting goodies 

recipe for exhaustion!! no I didn't eat any :) 

any ways... I did try the new Quest flavor 

amazing!! but I don't... shouldn't... buy these bars they are so freakin good!!! and when I eat too much whey it makes me all bloated 

so what do I do when I need to relax? First things first WORK OUT!!!!

then an Arrow marathon (to be continued today) and Instagram recipe searching 

all the recipe's I want to try 

I sweat I am such a spaz!!! 

I copy all these, have these big plans to make them ...

then nuttin honey 

oh well it's fun ... My Mom was a recipe collector and loved to read recipe books, she must have passed the love onto me 

so today? cooking a bit, laundry and some more Arrow 

tootles 

the good, the bad and the relaxed

I hope Starbucks company has some kind of name searcher ... they look for every time a blog put's their name in a post... OMG am I a total dork or what!!?? 

well you never know..

well ... STARBUCKS!!!!! your cups are cheap!!! 

but I love this free coffee for the month of January idea and I love the coffee 

the cup ... not so much 

okay back to our regularly scheduled programming

a few of my meals over the last few days ... egg whites 

Greek yogurt and strawberries 

food prep

this WAS chicken, green beans and quinoa and the best freakin salsa on the planet!!! 

I bought it at Costco on a whim... so good! 

why am I posting this? ... must be the OCD in me... vitamins prepped for a few day and little baggies of oats all ready to grab. Each baggie has 

1/4 c oats 

1T hemp

1T flax

delish 

I dusted off the ole treadmill in my garage... yepper it still works 

and O.M.G....

I had a bowl of Special K cereal with unsweetened almond milk for dinner

nope.. I don't think I am going to freak out 

it was only about 300 calories. It satisfied my curiosity about Special K with chocolate and dried strawberries

ahhh my critique? 

I won't be recommending it... but in it's defense... cereal isn't my thing

I can't even remember the last (or next) time I ate cereal 

so I'm a chillin with the food 

I did buy a book and loaded it into my Nook 

it saved my butt today 

Food addiction healing day by day 

I was stressed and had some anxiety today ... didn't I just say the same thing twice??

any whoosle 

reading it helped. A. LOT. 

later taters 

Saturday Saturday takes all my cares away Saturday

or was that yesterday?
derp

so I have been trying to figure this stuff out and ya know what? There is no hard and final answer for my dietary problems

A friend yesterday pointed out I have a poor relationship with food

could be some truth to that... ya think?
I do have an addictive personality. I slayed the booze beast... now I have a food beast
but food is a little tougher, you can't just STOP eating... where with booze you can just STOP

maybe I need to do some reading on food addiction.. or ones relationship with food... do these sort of books even exist? I am sure Barnes and Noble has them somewhere ... hope they aren't written by a quack...

I was cruising the blogs and Sean Anderson started posting again... I love that guy. I read him when I first started blogging back in 2010 and he was one of my inspirations to start this blog. So many of those bloggers are gone now. Reading his blog really made me realize that we all struggle. I don't need to feel shame because I am struggling. This is what I blog for... to help me and when this blog becomes a problem is when I feel pressure to impress... Who the heck am I trying to impress?

I AM STRUGGLING FOLKS!!!!  I have to work out part.. I freakin LOVE to work out! I am a gym junkie... but the food part now that is a whole nother ball game

I have someone I trust that is going to help get me back on track. I dumped my heart out yesterday and they are going to help me... Should I look into OA? Just a thought

Well I hope you are all feeling some good mow-Joe and all in the groove... if you are send me some good vibes... I need them!

later gaters

when you can't sleep ... you blog

up with the chickens this morning 

i think I am getting sick.. boo... I NEVER get sick ... sad face 

2 egg whites 

low carb tortilla with mustard, dill relish and turkey 

some of the ole green stuff and some dressing

I need to do the major refrigerator clean out this week and get some veggies back in the refrigerator 

blueberries and Greek yogurt 

almonds

1/4 cup oats, 1 T flax, 1 T hemp and 2 t chia 

4 whites and 2 T guacamole 

some SF french vanilla in my coffee... I may have snuck in some cream... nom nom 

and I will have 2 shakes made with almond milk 

one after I work out and a casein shake when I get home 

and my digits for da day