Tuesday, February 4, 2014

I know the solution

You know when you have anxiety
you have some "issues"
work... your personal life
fear.. sorrow .. dealing with change and unknown
I feel sometimes like I am back in time
I couldn't make it through even one day with out some help
hiding the evidence, like that would somehow make it as though it didn't happen

every morning I would wake with regret
anger
shame
a feeling like I was out of control
powerless

I don't know how I changed it... yes I do. It was one day at a time
sometimes one day was even too much
at times it was one moment at a time

I think I need to go back to that place
draw on those lessons

egg white omelet
small serving oatmeal
cucumbers
egg white bake
carrots
spaghetti squash and  turkey meat loaf
SF Popsicle
SF Popsicle
SF Popsicle
Carnation drumstick
Carnation drumstick
Frito's and cold beans
6 Keebler Sandies cookies
Carnation drumstick

it is 3 o'clock and I need to stop

stop eating out of boredom
stop blaming my eating on boredom
stop blaming my eating on anxiety, fear and feelings

deal with what is going on outside my head, and inside my head
time to get back to making peace with myself
accepting change
accepting fear is normal and it's okay to be afraid

I am a good person

I will make it through this day and the next

Tomorrow I will read my morning devotional
for today I will forgive myself and move forward

today the damage is done
but I am knocked down, not out

No I am not knocked out







6 comments:

  1. Be kind to yourself, Karla. You deserve that.
    I'm sorry to see that you're struggling right now but you'll figure it out. You're smart like that. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. Abstinence. Once I started practicing abstaining from processed sugar and wheat, I was able to start to stop emotional / binge eating and heal.

    You are okay. It's not your fault. My brain was wired like this since age 6. I'm now 47. Don't stop trying.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes! You can stop and regroup. One day or one hour or one moment at a time. Back to basics, you've got it!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Hang in there, Karla. Good for you working through all the emotions. I was never very good at doing that. You've got this.

    ReplyDelete

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