Saturday, August 23, 2014

yesterday

woke up feeling awful 

anonymous's comment on the last post has me all in a dither 
so I am trying to chill. Funny the moment I read anonymous's comment I thought it was my daughter or sister in disguise 

yeah maybe I have an issue with food 
ya think 


I have always been the type of person that I am hardest on myself 

don't think I will find a gif on that ... 
Confidence has never been my strong point 


but I will work this out 
actually I owe a big thank you to anonymous
kind of a reality check 

I feel things and people and events are put in my life to show and teach me things 

so to add onto anonymous's in my brain 


I am listening to an audio book 
The Dresden files 


wrong Harry but whatever 

so Harry says something about people that eat those food bars to
 torture themselves because they feel they have to diet 

oh my Gawd 

freaked out much 



girlfriend here needs a reality check 

so today I am going to work out 
and eat.... take the stash of food bars to the gym and make the ladies happy 

suckers...




keeping my calories around 1300-1400
or REAL food... not processed bars or packages... but food 

and chill 


and hope my pants fit on Monday 

lol 


2 comments:

  1. I just left a comment on your blog post about Anonymous' comments. I think Anonymous is someone with a lot of knowledge, experience, and truth. ..and caring to share that with you . Sounds like those comments reflect those of the ones who love you . I 've paid a lot of therapists / dieticians/ read a lot of books and ultimately that message is what I needed to learn and what I need help to work towards. I have a Skype dietician session once a week. It helps. I wish you the best. I'm going to print that comment for myself...I need to remember it on those days when I'm embarrassed or depressed about my body or obsessed on wanting to eat baked goods (in too large proportions).I'm learning to enjoy and be ok with foods in the right proportions.

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  2. Yeah - anonymous' post would have pulled me up short as well. But, what she wrote is true. We all know that's how it should be, but for some of us - me - it's difficult to reconcile because food was/is/can be an emotional thing. Seeing it in writing removes the emotion and gives us the reality check.

    I think this is the very reason I've been finally been successful. I laid it out all nekkid and bare. I know I've got a problem and leaving behind all the processed shit has truly lessened the food chatter. The processed food really is a chemical shit storm as I've heard several times.

    And Karla - all of us struggle with getting to our goals. I'm struggling now. But struggling is not failure; not learning from the struggles is the failure.

    You will get this - you're already there and just don't know it.

    Hope you had no damage from the quake.

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