Tuesday, March 31, 2015

"as if"

I am remembering so many methods I used from AA 
this one worked yesterday... 

"acting as if" 

so yesterday I acted "as if" WWers old points was old hat, I had this down, no big deal, on target, dialed in 

and do you want to know what? IT FRIGGING WORKED!!!!! 


here are my steps from yesterday: 


this was just a regular work day in the life of a grocery store manager!!! no workout! 
gotta go out today and bust out some sort of exercise 
but still on yesterday's recap 

and my food : 


I downloaded this app ^^^
the only bummer is it doesn't sync with my fitness pal 
oh well 
but I stayed in budget on the old points system 
Today I am going to focus on the saying 

"Over the years, every conceivable deviation from our Twelve Steps and Traditions has been tried." 

I have tried it all these last 2 years 
has been about 21 months I have been sort of lost 
trying every conceivable deviation ^^^^ 

if it works, it works 
and it worked 
but I kept trying to bend it 
twist it 
stretch it 
angle it 
this way 
that way 
over thinking 
analyzing

sheesh so much mental anguish
over a simple concept 

another AA flash back 

"Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple programusually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."

today I will be honest with myself 
Today I will keep it simple 
Today I will act "as if" 

and drag my arse back into Powerhouse 


I am sure it'll be no big deal... but I have anxiety 

I also picked out a goal celebration for 2015
more on that tomorrow 
#operationnomoresweatpants 

Monday, March 30, 2015

Hello 2016!!!!!

Happy New Year 2016!!!

Karla... wow what an amazing year 2015 was! highs and lows for sure (like most years) you definitely stressed your ass off over the closing of your Oxnard store, and the opening of the new and 2 times larger new store!! but we made it through! .... and oh my GAWD when Erin was in Portugal for 2 and a half weeks you were a wreak!!!!

but it just kind of clicked back into place... weird how that is, huh!!!

and wow it seemed like forever to get back into the 140's huh? but it sure felt nice to be able to not be tugging on my work shirts during the Grand open of the new store! Remember when all the executives were at the opening and I just handled it.... even with all the craziness our uber demanding boss!!! I even think underneath her hard exterior she was even happy!!!

I know it was tough when the kids all moved out, but starting to look at things the same way you kicked the booze seemed to be how it all clicked back into place

addiction, sugar and eating all kind of go into the same category

and dang feeling pressured... you took your food every day and people would look at you as

"oh she has it going on, that's why she is so successful"

or

"why does she bother she is just getting fatter and fatter"

giving up on worrying about what others thought was a good move!!! Karla it was always only about you, not them, never about them. You just made it about them.... that over-thinking thing you always have done.

And going back to Powerhouse... yeah it was hard... you felt like a failure, BUT it was short lived... people were genuinely glad to see you back! Pride kept you away... again over thinking has always been your downfall... and the training cost ... well girl you are so WORTH IT!!!!!!!!! never forget that! Taking care of yourself has no price tag and Scott always supported whatever you wanted to do, he was never begrudging

Yeah April was a tough month, but you lived through it! I know you felt like it wouldn't end and questioned your sanity that you took a vacation right when you restated ... and I know not shouting it from the rooftops that "Karla is back" was hard, but you did it... well for the most part.... but dang girl did you kick some patooty on the cardio that week you were on vacation!!! I think it totally helped!!!

Year 2015 started rough.... you saw a number you thought you would never see.... but on the flip side of that ending 2015 in the 130's was ... so. worth. it!!!!

I know you felt like there was no way back, but again just like you kicked the booze....

it was and has always been just about

ONE DAY AT A TIME

I love you Karla, you are too hard on yourself.... you always have been!

chill out, stop over thinking things like you have always been known for and go out there ..... hold your head high, and don't be scared, I will catch you if you fall... always remember that


Sunday, March 29, 2015

gone... where did it go?

it's gone 
I lost it 


can't find it anywhere 


yep... 


lost motivation 
need to care again 
doctor said my sugar and cholesterol was a bit high 
not enough to warrant meds 
but enough to be eating better 
dang 

I need to get my act together 


gotta get back in the game 
163.6 this morning 






Wednesday, March 18, 2015

Peace out Cub Scout


I am kind of in a before mode 
I have made a promise to myself though 
NO MORE THROWING FOOD AWAY!!!
if I buy it... gotta eat it 
so if I buy a protein bar... figure it out 
freezer is full of WWers taco soup ... figure it out 


but I will 
hubster can eat the sweets ... I have like 14 cans of tuna and 6 cans of re fried beans 
figure it out 
I will only buy food though 
nothing more processed 
but gotta work though what I have 



well this is NOT exactly what I had in mind 
tee hee 
this is more of me daily 
before... ready for work 
after... home and after a 12 hour day 


so food is packed 
meal 1 - Isopure shake with fruit from freezer and coconut almond milk and some chia seeds 
meal 2 - Trader Joe's 80 calorie muffin and 4 oz of cottage cheese 
meal 3 - broccoli cauliflower soup from (freezer) 
meal 4 - turkey pattie with onions and peppers and shirataki noddles (freezer) 
maybe a SF carb-delite yogurt of the way home??? 

lets see how long I can eat out of my cupboards and freezer's 

I am kind of a food hoarder... when I grocery shop I still think I have 2 kids 
that are going to eat eat eat 
but it's just me and da hubster now 
have a great day 
peace out cub scout 




Sunday, March 15, 2015

Just chatting

why is it that some days there is NO hope?
other days you don't/can't understand where that attitude comes from it feels easy

it's weird

No matter the path you choose
Weight Watchers
Paleo
Whole 30
Trainer's plan

no matter which choice ...

some days there is NO HOPE!!

the VERY next day it is easy

bizarre

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

No pictures, no gifs

good morning
just little ole me
no pictures of food
no silly gif's
nuttin honey... just me
chit chatting

So I have been following a lot of Weight Watcher folks on Instagram
why do they all seem to be in the U.K.?
weird

any whoosle

so many before and after pictures

even when I was at my smallest I didn't feel 100% comfortable as an "after"
I never seemed to be done.... problems much Karla?

Once I got into a groove back in 2010 the losing part was easy.
The maintaining part was the hard stuff

so I have to make a plan
to keep it off this time
so I am not back here blogging when I am 60 about having to lose 25 pounds again

I am not going to freak out, but I am aware this is an issue

I slept HORRIBLE last night
I know poor sleep means increased stress ... or more like inability to deal with stress as well
stress hormone Cortisol
so I listened to my body this morning (after a whooping 4 hours sleep last night)

I had coffee, banana, egg whites and a bagel thin

and didn't try and tough it out until 9AM

would have set me up for failure

meals are packed and prepped
going to be another long work day today
I work 10-8 ... plus the hour commute
Tomorrow is my day off and a much needed rest day

I question the Fitbit app and how it sync's with the Weight Watcher app
Shows I have earned 40 fitness points this week
and I still have 2 more days in my "week"
I weigh in Friday and all numbers start over

I know I am a busy gal but dang!

Sorry no pictures or fun silly gif's
too tired this morning

Have a wonderful day



Monday, March 9, 2015

remembering the rules


I went to an actual meeting!!! and stayed after to talk to the leader...
yeah me! 


I started on Friday... so yesterday I sooooo didn't want to weigh 
Went to breakfast with the hubster 
ate this amazing egg white omelet with enchilada sauce 


had to snag a half slice of his toast 
yes It was counted! 


but at the meeting she made me weigh.... 
so I asked her to black out my weight 
because I knew it would derail me 
so my Friday morning garage weigh in 
is my starting weight 
I liked the leader 
she reminded me that when I was losing in 2010 
I had all these little rules I followed 


like I had to drink a liter of water on the way to work 


I couldn't have just protein and carbs for lunch 
I had to have a vegetable 


sometimes it's the little things that I stumble on 


but if it helped to remind me of things that used to work 
it was a win experience for me!!! 
I look forward to going next Sunday 


 NNN blockade 
No Night Nibbles 

food all packed for a long asp work day 
I work 10-8
Orange Theory at 6:45
I will be tired tonight 
but good tired 






Saturday, March 7, 2015

today's foodie post

Half of the bar before my workout this morning
the other half as an afternoon snack 

Love it when I get to work out with my daughter
---> insert big smile 


breakfast: 
egg white fritatta 
avocado, cheese
salad and a piece of bread 
ahhhh yummo 


Greek Dannon yogurt and berries 


2 slices Bimbo wheat toast 
and egg white salad 


dinner was a slaw made with 
cabbage, jicama and carrots 
with WWers taco soup and pico pica sauce 


may or may not have some popcorn later 
tootles bloggity folks 

yesterdays eats

boring ...but holds me accountable


breakfast 4 egg whites on a bagel thin, berries and a banana


snack yogurt and some squash 


snack 


this was left over dinner from the other night 
I split it into two meals 
Kirkland turkey burgers with onion, mushroom, peppers
asparagus and Trader Joe's marinara 
and 2 ounces of pasta 



and a few hours later the rest with green beans 
a little ICBIB light and some Parmesan cheese 


and a Sugar free frozen yogurt to finish off the day 

oops almost I had an apple 


good day
no night time nibbles 
no binge
I felt in control 
when I was tired I went to bed 
OMG what a concept!!!! 

tootles bloggity friends 






Monday, March 2, 2015

back to the future


I have been reading my blog posts from 2010 
when I was in the losing mode 
and one thing I notice is the absence of protein shakes


I ate food 
counted points, tracked calories
weighed measured 
a lot of fruit and vegetables  
so in an effort to get back into my
 6's and out of my 10's 


I am going 


so real food, less processed foods 
cause I feel better when I eat REAL food 


I have been doing good 
so what happened with the Whole 30 you may ask? 
Too restrictive
I want a frigging yummy once in a while 
cream in my coffee 
yeah maybe I am addicted 


to sugar, wheat and grains 
but I lost the weight before 
I can do it again 
I have 142 days 
20 weeks and 2 days 
4 months and 20 days 
left in my work location 
and I want to feel comfortable in my skin with 
all the craziness that will come with that transition


so I read old posts 
see what worked 
mimic the old days 
so hold on 


here we go 


back to the future 

Blog Archive