Saturday, January 14, 2017

the 3 me's

so the other day I blogged about
I don't care Karla, meh meh Karla and in the zone Karla

what do all these voices in my head think of one another
boy this girl is getting a little cray cray here
but just stay with me here for a minute
I don't care Karla envy's in the zone Karla and is afraid of the meh meh me

meh meh is wishy washy and not helpful, this state of mind is very destructive... tears me down with doubt, discontent and inability to stay committed, meh meh state of mind is actually MORE destructive to me than the I don't care state of mind...

at least I don't care is in some way at peace with my decisions and in the zone is DEFINITELY committed. Commitment is the sweet spot
now the meh meh state of mind.... the place I have been for seems like FOREVER 
more like about 6 months... truthfully 
this mindset is sooooo destructive for me 
I would rather be totally in the zone 
crazy annoying in the zone (which I am so capable of) 
than here 
this mindset destroys relationships 
destroys my confidence 
eats at me 
like a plague 
 no trust anymore 
so how do I get out of this mindset meh meh land? 
lobotomy? 
searching not for a way
I know there are a million ways to get where I want to go 
I just need the mindset 
hummm 
what to do? 
what to do? 



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