Friday, April 28, 2017

tales of the cupcake part one

so this cupcake came home from my husbands work Monday night 
a co worker gave it to him 
looks harmless huh? well for me this is an invitation 
an invitation to binge 
it's been in the garage refrigerator since Monday night 
so got home from the gym and started to make my green juice  
and this will be two of my 3-4 liters of water 
stress buster here  
Vanilla Chai tea shake for the drive to work  
ah duh  
I love this but not sure I will make it again 
this is Green Giant mashed Cauliflower 
with 1/4 cup of quinoa and 3 ounces of lean ground beef 
336 calories for this meal... 
yeah it's a keeper maybe I think 
broccoli with 3 ounces diced ham 
it's funny whenever you see me eating ham 
or a soy burger 
this is usually just a choice I made 
because I ran out of chicken 
I need to be making more chicken!!!  
now this is a weird shake 
but stay with me folks 
don't leave 
my green juice, some unsweetened almond milk 
and a Vanilla Chai tea shake 
yep that's me the weirdo store manager 
walking around the store 
carrying the blender drinking my 
and lastly my sugar free frozen yogurt 
and yep still in the refrigerator 
now mind you it's been uncovered 
in this refrigerator for 
4 days 
but the hubster gets annoyed when I throw out his treats
but come on dude 
eat the silly cupcake already!!! 

Thursday, April 27, 2017

recapping yesterday

I have been thinking a lot about where I am and where I want to be
and understanding more and more that
Through gratitude I have to embrace about where I am NOW
make sense?
today is precious... I have been hearing a lot of stories around me
which remind me there is no guarantee of tomorrow
life is good, I am blessed
I need to remind myself of this daily
so recapping yesterday I struggled a bit with my food
I didn't tweet everything...
I went to a gathering after work and I was in charge of snacks so I brought a HUGE fruit tray... totally a good snack and everyone enjoyed it... me included... Then when I came home at 9pm which for me is late late late and I was hungry ... major danger time for me
but I had some cold left over chicken with a little salad dressing on it and went to bed
no freak out
no binge
but I had most of my food eaten yesterday by 11:30
I was hungry yesterday ... H..U..N..G..R..Y!!!!
but at noon... I just took a few moments in the crazy work day and recognized...
girl you aren't hungry, you feel physically FULL
You feel full you don't need to eat for the next few hours
and I made it through the day
the only "mistake"being the cold chicken and salad dressing 
gym this morning
leftovers for food today 
looking forward to vacation!!!!! 
tootles bloggity folks 

Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Let's chat

Let's chat this morning 
getting up and looking at the bathroom floor 
and not seeing a scale... this was tough this morning

I wanted to go into the other room and weigh... 
I may have to actually take it out of the house in my no weigh venture  
but I did good on my food yesterday 
here is my twitter feed with all my food pictures 
I went back to 2 shakes, 2 meals and a snack 
freezer is pretty emptied out 
so when we get back from vacation it will be 
meal prep Sunday!!! 
and I am going to be totally on 
2 shakes, 2 meals and a snack in Hawaii 
I have been listening to a lot of Sean Anderson's podcasts 
I am so grateful to Sean! he has so much insight and knowledge about 
losing, gaining, maintaining and I am understanding 
more and more this isn't a "diet" this is life 

life is in session 
I am starting to see this all as my food plan 
my life 
no end 
I do what I have to do to take care of myself 
no day's off in life!! 
so gym, water, food packed 
off to embrace the day 

Tuesday, April 25, 2017

scale thoughts

I missed my morning coffee picture oops 
but I went to the gym for an hour and then had 
yogurts and 2 oranges 
I was hungry yesterday morning... must have been the work out  
2 rice cakes 
I am struggling this morning... 
thinking oh I will just do a shake day (only protein shakes) 
or a cleanse day 
because the scale went up  
4 hard boiled eggs whites, 2 slices Bimbo crispy toast 
and spicy mustard 
but here's the deal.... 
scale fluctuations happen... 
maybe I should weigh less 
I am a certified nutzo 
I weigh EVERY morning pretty much  
Green Giant mashed cauliflower
1/4 c Quoina 
3 ounces lean ground beef 
I think I will stay off the scale for a bit 
and just focus on my plan 
1596 calories a day 
move my body 5-6 times a week 
3-4 liters of water a day  
110 calories of Jiffy pop 
this snack I love 
keeps me full and I feel like I am indulging 
glad I added this one back i 
vegetable soup and some water 
flavored with some Crystal light tea 
broccoli and 3 ounces of ham 
now even as I am typing this I am trying to see 
where and why there would have been a gain 
the gym? water retention from sore muscles trying to repair themselves? 
too much salt? ham, popcorn
oh wow Karla... you have too many artificial sweeteners
quiet my head!!! 
I am doing fine 
stop with the stress 
this is where I want to do something drastic to "fix" this that is "not working" 
no wonder I have struggled for YEARS 
see all this noise in my head? 
cray cray  
more water and my LARGE 128 calorie 
good day 
let the madness take a rest 
I am going to go into the kitchen 
pack my food for the day 
stay within my calorie budget 
and stay off the scale tomorrow 
see yall tomorrow 
less of me I hope 

Monday, April 24, 2017

Food confessional

so I used to do this when I started my blog 
picture upon picture of my food 
morning coffee 
but I stopped doing it because I thought it was too boring  
4 egg whites, low carb tortilla and 1 T Parmesan cheese 
but this blog was started as accountability for me and I kind of 
got away from that ... I think it may be time to get back to that place 
small but yummy 
ah yum  
4 egg whites, mustard and Bimbo crispy toast 
then I get/got embarrassed ... 
I eat a lot 
do I eat too much? 
will people judge me?  
Jolly Time 100 calorie popcorn
will they think I eat too many carbs? 
not enough protein? 
too much processed foods? 
2 cups grapefruit sections 
so I stopped
the chatter in my head was so LOUD 
and you know??? 
all self induced no one made those comments 
3.8 ounces chicken, green beans and I tried adding 
a bit of jalapeno mustard... it was GOOD!!! 
and I ate in secret... if I didn't tell the blog/the world
if I ate and no one saw
then it didn't count
ah no Karla!!! 
coffee with some half and half 
so good work was a crazy madhouse 
and the caffeine boost was much needed 
2 rice cakes ... another yum! 
oh this would have spun me 
Caramel... too much sugar 
I should be drinking a protein shake 
sheesh... Karla chill out girl!!!  
veggies, 3 ounces ground turkey breast 
and some Ranch popcorn seasoning 
but we each have our own way 
and I like eating right now 
it's satisfying me and I am losing the binge weight 
I am not some weight loss Leader
I am just me fighting my own demons
but I am fitting in a size 8 so I am not doing everything wrong
when I used to be in a 22
sure I miss my 4's but time will tell  
4 liters water 
and a low carb Sugar free frozen yogurt 
not a small 
not a child size 
a massive large one 
and I enjoyed every bite of it!!! 
this is truly a food confessional  
and the final numbers 
stayed in my calorie budget 
drank my water 
saw a loss this morning 
I listened to Sean's podcasts yesterday 
on the way to work and home 
food is packed for today
I am working out this morning 
all good in my hood 
tootles bloggity crew 
see you tomorrow 
less of me that is 

Sunday, April 23, 2017

The post of a million pictures

so I am still on eat eat eat and it's going great great great 
and I am watching the scale like a mad woman 
but it's going down  
4 egg whites 
1T Parmesan cheese 
low carb tortilla  
now don't quote me on this 
but eating more may just work for me  
4 whites on crispy Bimbo toast  
rice cake  
I am NOT even the teeny tiniest bit hungry 
this will definitely ward against the dreaded binge  
am I the only person that struggles with gain/lose 
or am I just a weirdo 
I was doing it like a ROCKSTAR then I got a compliment 
and woosh into binge land 
green beans and chicken
veggies and ground turkey 
I think this would qualify me for the nut house! 
veggie soup  
and my SF frozen yogurt  
since I didn't work out I thought I would wear my fitbit 
this is normal Saturday activity as a Grocery Store Manager 
but I do have a large store  
yeah right :P 
this is the only thing about the my Fitness pal 
it can be a tease 

and the days fitbit numbers 
sad sad day 
Rest in Peace Erin Moran 

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