Saturday, July 29, 2017


okay so I am not a math whiz 
but I do know my body 
if I keep my calories under 1500 then I will stay in the 150's
maybe I should drop them to 1400? 
hummm gotta think about that some 
it felt good to be REALLY challenged these last 2 days 
I pushed it hard 
so today I will chill a bit 
but still hit the gym 
just normal day off chores 
2 more weeks until vacation 
come on!!!! 
159.8 this morning  

Friday, July 28, 2017

working out

I may swing up and down some tonnage 
counting, weighing and measureing like a mad woman 
but the gym... I got this! 
it's the immediate feel of success 
walking out totally drenched from a good workout 
ahhh this was yesterday 
and then the next day much like this morning 
my muscles are sore and this is my body thanking me 
thanking me for making good choices 
I may not do a lot of things correctly 
but this gym dealeo 
I got this 
off for legg day 

Thursday, July 27, 2017


so yesterday was better 
felt good about my food choices 
I didn't do any exercise but I am training this morning with my old trainer 
Just today and tomorrow 
I do good on my own but it'll be a nice change 
and tomorrow is legs 
I haven't done a dedicated leg day since I started doing my own thing 
I go to the gym and it's kind of like a brain fart moment 
I end up doing the same handful of movements 
but that's okay 
something is always better than nothing 
calories yesterday were 1283
weight this morning was 161.2
My yearly health screening for insurance is coming up 
 I have to get to 155 in order to save $600 
they have a BMI requirement you have to be under 25
I am sitting at 26.1 
officially OVERWEIGHT 
oh man this sucks 
so I need to drop at LEAST 10 pounds 
and my waist has to be less than 35 inches 
I am at 34.5 but I have work to do 
deadline is end of September 
In the process of picking myself up 
and keeping on keeping on 
I can do this 
come on let's lose some LB's!!! 


Wednesday, July 26, 2017

visibly invisible

the nice thing about this blog is I am visibly invisible 
few people read me on a daily basis that I see in my day to day life
and if I don't connect it to my Facebook ... even less 
there ya go anonymity 
and if I just talk... even fewer people read 
so I am in a weird place 
thinking about since I started this blog 
my successes and how I have regained and my struggles 
and kind of a why do I do what I do kind of a morning 
it's weighing heavy on my mind 
confession... I used to (I don't anymore) follow people that MAJOR struggled 
it's like the traffic jam that is on the freeway 
you can't help but slow down and look at the wreak 
or when you blow your nose... and look in the tissue
what's that about? yeah there is boogers and snot there ahhhh duh!!! 
so this morning I weighed 163.8 
yeah not good 
I had this bright idea to swap to Whole 30
ah yeah that didn't work 
I ended up having a "final feast" 
then last night freaked out and gorged on cookies 
I am NOT a strong individual 
I have to get some wind in my sails to keep me going 
and the wind machine isn't working right now 
I have also pulled away from individuals that help me with this 
too complicated to go all into that 
so here I am 
I have to depend on me 
I did it before 
why is it that this is so different? 
what is it? 
am I comfortable? too comfortable? 
hummm I just don't know what it is .....
so today I have my food packed 
and all logged in My Fitness pal 
if you just look at My Fitness pal you would think I am "perfect" 
ah no
I don't log when I eat Oreo's 
and put on the feeder bag of chips 
so I just want to get through today 
I didn't go to the gym this morning 
that's why I have so much time for this post 
and pouring all my thoughts out here 
I felt "too fat" for the gym 
yeah dumb I know 
then I see gals (on my various social media) 
that have stuck with it 
and they look bomb 
and I start making all these excuses to myself 
yeah I am a mess this morning 
I think this is the most lengthy worded post I have ever posted 
so what's the point of all this? 
I just am looking to talk out my issues 
find my wind machine again 
ignite that spark again 
find the place in my head where committed and commitment went 
cause it WENT somewhere 
and excuses are there now 
so just like when I was drying out from booze 
I can only work on today 
just worry about today 
just think about today 
and get through today 
I am sure maybe only one human read this entire post 
maybe not even one 
signing off for today 
visibly invisible 

Monday, July 24, 2017

still at it

I mix the unsweetened creamer 
with unsweetened almond milk 
a shake 
I LOVE this mixture 
sounds weird Chai tea and coffee 
but yumm!!! 
this is all I took to work 
egg whites and the shake 
minus the protein 
I have a full refrigerator at work 
oh and also my vitamins and a bar 
my work frig 
plenty for the day! 
or two 
and toast also 
perks of working in a grocery store 
easy (too easy) access to food-a-plenty  
felt BIG 
hid it all behind a flowy top 
got a work out in 
I feel all achy today 
not sure if I will hit the gym 
or make today a rest day 
didn't sleep well last night 
what to do what to do??? 
calories low yesterday 1101
weight this morning 159.6

Saturday, July 22, 2017

and I didn't die

we have all seen this meme 
so yesterday I did the UNTHINKABLE 
low calorie day 
yep I did it 
and I made it through!
so today will be interesting 
I need to keep busy so I don't go off the rails 
158.2 this morning 
gym today and maybe a hike 
I would LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE to see the 140's again 
going to take everything I have 
yesterday I had a BIG reminder I have been 
treading water for over a year now 
let's see if I can do another 1200 day!!! 
I'll report back 

Friday, July 14, 2017

I hurt

sometimes ... ah most times
I think I am like 20
but sadly I am not
so I may push myself too hard
not sure what I did
hands hurt
maybe from improper form of my barbell lifts yesterday???
hips hurt
give me a break I only ran 5 minutes yesterday
cardio was: 5 minutes stairs, 5 minutes bike,
5 minutes walk and ending in 5 minutes run
not loving the aches and pains

so: no gym today
weight is same
159 this morning
as long as I stay out of the dreaded 160's
keep pushing
yep that's all I got
tootles bloggity peeps

Tuesday, July 11, 2017

just trying to stay cool

just quietly doing my thing 
I FINALLY found a gym 
a for reals 24/7 gym!! 
small, clean, not crowded, and the weights are racked 
and pretty reasonable at $50 a month 
I know shocker!!! 
such a place on this planet DOES exist 
today is food prep 
in this heat (106 here in So Cal)
I don't do any oven food 
microwave and stovetop all the way 
but I will make some yummyness 
and get ready for the week  
have a great day yall
and if you are in Southern California 
stay cool 
157.6 this morning 

Thursday, July 6, 2017

enough already!!!

Quick fixes.....DO NOT WORK!!!! 
nope, nada, zip, ziltch 
they aren't out there 
but man oh man will people, emails, 
companies, and the Internet try and sell them to you!!!! 
here is a concept 
eat food, move your body and count calories 
it's simple common sense 
you don't (read I DON'T) 
need a 7 day jump start 
a 28 day fix 
a 30 day program 
this is a lifetime
this is a lifestyle 
this is about loving yourself (myself) for 
where I am and who I am 
and doing what I can 
and it's good enough 
I can get caught up in those around me that 
"oh do this to improve this"
"read this to help with that" 
"do better than yesterday" 
when is enough enough? 
I kicked butt yesterday 
I ate great
drank my water 
moved my body 

I am accountable to myself 
make enough enough 
Karla's hashtag 

Sunday, July 2, 2017

who is this girl???

2 work days down, 4 to go 
6 twelve hour days in a row 
I am though listening to my body 
I got home last night at 6:30pm and 
I was lights out sleepy time by 7
9 hours straight!! a feel prepared for today's events 
I am still below 160 this morning so all good 
balance, it's about balance 
so today's food is packed, recorded and planned 
yall enjoy the weekends/holidays festivites and pool parties 
I'll just be here holding down the fort 
tootles yall 
Who is this girl??!!! 
Thank you Katelyn Tarver 

Saturday, July 1, 2017

What up with Dat?

I love (read not) how gyms advertise "24 hour Fitness" 
and (for example) don't open until 7AM on Saturday 
I am currently on a quest to find someplace I can work out 
My current "open always" gym for example 
Today I can't work out 
sure I could go after work along with the 
1,597,356,364,985,355 people!!! 
I like to work out at like 4AM - 5AM 
I leave for work by 6-630 AM gym doesn't open until 7
same for Sunday and Monday (4th of July holiday hours) 
so I can't workout today
or tomorrow 
or 4th of July 
and I am pretty sure the 5th of July they open at 5AM 
annoying .....
I'll find something truly 24 hours 
I am on a mission...
and maybe some abs 
food is on point 
keeping at it!!! 
5 more work days until a day off 
yeah... while the rest of the world is 
off enjoying festivities 
some of us are working 
oh well 
off to do some cardio, abs and pack my food 

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