Monday, August 28, 2017

why tempt fate?

I am an almost daily scale junkie 
Wake up, use the restroom and go get on the scale 
not today 
I have been doing really good 
staying on plan 
so why do I need the scale this morning? 
not needed.... 
sometimes the scale helps me to be appreciative of my hard work 
other times it is a source of frustration 
other times ..... not sure why though 
it is a free pass to eat out of control 

if the number is good it's like okay FOOD TIME!!!! 
so not today 
maybe tomorrow 
we'll see 
how often do you weigh? 
so often I hear people say... it's not about the number on the scale 
but that is soooo not my mindset... 
maybe I need a new attitude? 
tootles noodles 

Sunday, August 27, 2017

7 FULL days

okay it is official 
 7 full days 
scale said 158.6 this morning (ahhh I think) 
I know the 158 part for sure 
cause I jumped off the scale before it could change it's mind 
the .6 part ... not to clear on 
but for sure it said 158 point something 
had a few too many down days this past week 
in regards to exercise 
but changing things up
yes again 
sheesh I know.... what is my dealeo!!??
but losing weight is mainly about the food 
 2010 lost bunches doing just 20 minutes of walking 
so I will find a routine again 
but work today 
and JUST work usually is well over 15,000
steps on my fitbit 
food is all packed 
 mixing my food up a bit 
so boredom doesn't set in 
today on the menu is apple and almond butter 
ahh yum! 
got ta go 

Saturday, August 26, 2017

getting in a groove

funny how sometimes for no unknown reason 
things just kind of click into place 
have I lost mega pounds my first week?
ah no 
but more than the weight 
(back at 159 this morning) 
has been an understanding that I am not perfect 
it's okay to have a treat 
SF frozen yogurt or a 60 calorie chocolate 
but enjoy it and move on 
and no this doesn't mean move on to eat everything in sight 
Got in a lot of exercise this last week ahh gold star! 
this morning though just plain ole lazy 
played on the internet for the morning 
but pushing on 
food is packed for the day 
shakes, egg whites, 2 meals 
lots of water 
and church after work 
life is good 
28 days until the wedding 
wowsa life is moving fast 
tootles bloggity friends 

Friday, August 25, 2017

I tried but I just can't

cook Salmon at home 
I like salmon... I do but at home ....
stinky Caca 
I just cannot make this at home 
so last night I made salmon 
and it ended up in the trash 
someone I know will be the recipient of a box of 
Costco marinated salmon 
minus one fillet 
so I ended up with a veggie burger instead 
and then frustrated I ate like two giant helpings of vegetables 
and my weight was up this morning 160.2
but it is a vegetable binge 
so it'll go back quickly to 159
I am on day 5 on being on plan 
this is a biggie for me 
I ordered my Mother of the Bride dress yesterday 
 I have a goal 
29 days to go 
I ordered a size 12
the 14 was too big 
I was hoping for a 10 but whatever 
I felt like a princess in it 
or maybe an old queen would be a better description 
day off today 
I work the weekend ugh 
staying on track folks 
have a great day 
sorry this is a weird post
seemed more like just conversation this morning 

Wednesday, August 23, 2017

What's your motivation?

people that have read my blog probably think I am a yo yo mess 
but you are wrong 
I am a fighter 
point in fact: 9 months pregnant with my son I was 199
this was back in 1985
then came my daughter
at 9 months pregnant ... not sure but I think I hit 210
this was in 1989
when I started this blog in 2010 I was 199
I lost ALL my "pregnancy weight" in 2010
only took me 21 years to get around to it! 
this morning 159
I have successfully kept off 40 pounds these last 7 years 
so my title this morning is what's your motivation? 
first it was about sobriety 
then it was awe... like wow I did this! 
now I want to get back to 139 
I am giving myself 16 weeks 
and I have some doubters 
and for good reason 
I am a GREAT starter 
note the fact that it took me 21 years to lose the baby weight 
and EVERY morning of those 21 years 
I woke up and said to myself 
"today is the day!!!" 
I am not quite sure what happened in 2010
what switch got flipped 
but I am trying to stay close to winners 
people that have been successful 
feeding off their success 
almost like it is my own 
although I know it's not 
and doubters 
yeah that's who has me determined 
doubters gonna doubt 
haters gonna hate 
I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other 
consistency feels far away 
like something you can't grasp 
but all I can do is keep adding a day 
and then another 
and another 
and feed off the winners positive focus 

Sunday, August 20, 2017

such a yummo dinner!

so good! 
I was shopping and noticed my local market had 
zucchini and butternut squash zoodles 
hummm dinner idea born  
2 Tablespoons per fillet 
which isn't so bad 
considering how absolutely delicious!! 
Tilapia from Costco 
is the only Tilapia I will eat 
perfect white fish 
no weird red color at all 
baked in a 375 oven for 
25 minutes so freaking good!!! 
all for 355 calories! 
I have enough for tomorrow 

34 & 55 & 134

I was wondering yesterday 
even thinking about it this morning 
do I even have abs? 
maybe having abs for me will never happen 
but what I do have is a promise to myself 
and that promise I need to keep 
so let's get to my food yesterday 
coffe creamer 
my old green jungle juice is back 
ah yummo  
morning shake 
I did this after core and cardio workout  
my family gave me grief for this meal 
oh PU 
what's that smell???!!!
ahhhh whatever!!!! 
salad at family party 
didn't do the tortilla chiops on the salad 
and even picked out most of the tri tip 
from the second plate 
what can I say? it was yummy 
and VERY VERY easy on the dressing  
wanted to keep my calories where they should be 
so I ended with a bar 
another shake would have put me over 
the salad was more than I anticipated 
salads are NOT always the lower calorie choice 
and a tiny sweet treat 
day done 
1571 calories 
I feel really good this morning 
34 days until the wedding 
55 days until my birthday 
134 days until 2018
I never wanted to be "that" person that wanted to 
lose weight for an event .... but here I am 
oh well 
It's weird also 
it's mainly about honoring my promise to myself 
I am worth feeling amazing 
ok enough outta me this morning 
have a rock star day 
tootles bloggity peeps 

Saturday, August 19, 2017

35 and counting

uh oh 
my daughters wedding has snuck up on me
only 35 days to go!!! 
vacation is for the most part done... 
in that we are back from San Diego 
I ate what I wanted for the most part 

and yesterday was an on point day 
I am sure it wasn't a coincidence that this was in my email this morning 

Saturday, August 19, 2017
Consistent effort
By Ralph Marston
Occasional effort can create the illusion of success. Consistent effort is what brings lasting success, achievement, fulfillment.
Are you working out once or twice every couple of weeks, or every day? Are you writing a chapter just when you feel like it, or every morning before breakfast?
Your life is too precious to merely dabble. In work, in play, in health, wisdom and relationships, you deserve the luscious fruits that consistent effort will bring.
A single heroic effort might be fun and impressive, but is soon forgotten. Yet small, unassuming efforts, when repeated with consistency, can bring a never-ending stream of value.
If you've done it once, you can do it again, and again. When you do, great things result.
Give your life and your world the benefit of your best effort, not once, not twice, but over and over again. With consistent effort, build a path all the way to your most treasured dreams.

Holy Spirit giving me a nudge 
I subscribe to Ralph Marston 
soooooo worth it! 
just $15 a year and every morning I read one of this sort of thing 
so today is a family party 
but the hostess is a mad skills Weight Watcher 
so I am not worried 
workout this morning 
and just focus on today 

be my own competition 
tootles me peeps 

Monday, August 14, 2017

kind of embarrassing

kind of embarrassing 
but it is what it is 
a starting point to which I will progress from 
yep this was my day 
no sugar coating 
true to what I ate 
every bite 
no lie 
morning coffee 
creamer is always 
half unsweetened almond milk (sometimes the almond coconut) 
and half SF carnation 
took this with me to the gym and had on my way home 
got a good upper body in 
I can kill it at the gym 
food is my problem 
as you will see  
love these bars from Costco  
got my water in 
3 liters total today  
4 egg whites 
1 egg 
and 2 LF Eggo waffles  
coffee bean with a scoop of SF vanilla powder 
dang this puppy had 50 calories 
that's a burn  
Falafel plate from Tender Greens 
lunch with the DD 
I didn't eat the bread  
SF Fro Yo  
I MAY have had 
like 4 strawberries 
while cleaning them for the hubster  
tomato and corn for dinner  
they had steak 
 I have been weirded out about meat 
since that netflicks 
food documentary  
can't remember the name of it 
maybe I blocked it intentionally 
I ate 3 ears 
::::::: hanging head in shame ::::::: 
3 bites of DMIL's Jello  
and 3 bites of Halo 
total was 1960
not the 1200-1500 which is my budget 
I wish I was as strict with myself as my fellow blogger Sean 
alas that's not my story 
struggle is my story 
better tomorrow 
goal will be attainable 
how about UNDER 1900?
that should be doable
whatcha think? 
yeah I am a BIG eater 
not some dainty flower here 
gots some work ta do!!! 
fer sure 

less thinking.... more doing

this blog has been a food dairy, and my attempt at being silly
I am going to go back to daily journaling via pictures
I went back to Seans turning point in 2014 
and I was also reading a farewell post (maybe)
and FogDog's frustration this morning 
and this is my conclusion:
less thinking, less planning, less analyzing, less procrastinating
more doing
more of what I AM and less of who I want to be and wish I was
food dairy was boring but it was working
being silly was more about an attempt to entertain
and about YOU
this blog is for me
see how selfish I am ..... lol
Sean made a very thought provoking statement back in a post in 2014
and I keep thinking about it this morning
You see, I tend to suffer from paralysis by analysis.
and this is SOOOOO me
so just doing
pictures later tonight of my food
what's the plan?
My fitness pal
1200-1500 calories
current BMI 26.3
goal BMI 21.8
I have been on the bubble for 18 months now
so frustrating
everyone has a different method
just going to do what works for me
the sticking to it part is the hard part for me
exactly 2 months to my birthday
let's see what I can accomplish by then

Sunday, August 13, 2017

Ventura County Fair day

actually it's not 125,865,957,365,587,459,000  times 
I did the math
that would be thinking I started dieting at maybe 13
I am 57
that's 44 years 
so if I would have said to myself every morning 
it would be 16,060 times 
this is the kind of things I think of
sad... I know but that's me 
so how did I do yesterday? 
I did have 2 meals 
which were good 
but no shakes.... I had 2 bars instead 
and 2 snacks 
one was okay... the other not so much 
5 whites and 2 LF Eggo waffles 
1 Quest bar 
side salad... dressing on the side and I only ate 2 of the croutons 
2 grilled fish tacos, diodn't eat the tortillas or the rice pilaf 
1 Kirkland protein bar 
SF frozen yogurt 
chips and guacamole 

sounded better before .... huh? 
oh well 

I'll give it another go today 
we are off the the Ventura County fair today 
so I am going to be hunting grilled corn 
and strawberries while the hubster 
is munchin on fried fair foods 
last day of the fair...
it'll be a fun day 

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