Saturday, January 28, 2017

yep... I am Clueless

nothing new and exciting to report 
oh you have finally gotten into the 150's? 
nah that hasn't happened yet 
I do GREAT, my clothes feel looser then 
boing right back up 
story of my life
so here I sit this beautiful Saturday morning 
with no pearls of wisdom 
no great success story to share... 
yep I got nothing 
I did hit the gym 5 times last week 
I guess that's a good thing 
I did try the My Fit Foods thinking that would help me 
did GREAT for 4 or 5 days 
then demolished a bag of cookies 
it's like there is this side of me that is afraid 
afraid to be a success 
afraid of the attention 
afraid 
what am I afraid of? 
why am I afraid? 
hummmm I think I may be onto something here 
I will need to ponder on this today 
tootles 


Tuesday, January 24, 2017

re-gainers anonymous

so I follow a lot of folks on Instagram
and through blogs
and on Facebook
I am kind of a social media junkie
and I have noticed a few have come out in 2017 with the big reveal that they have gained, a lot of their weight back... like a LOT

we are human
I am not a fitness robot, not a food robot. I think it's amazing when I see those ladies that come back after having a baby and focus... lose the weight and look bangin!!

but that's not me
I lose, gain, feel good, feel awful.....  I struggle

I am up from my all time low,
I would like to be smaller for my daughters wedding which is later this year
I got this 

I lost it in 2010 using this blog as an outlet and means of support and I can do it again

I wish I could be the one that discovers the magic solution... uses it... and it's a miracle my lifetime weight struggle is cured, but that ain't happening... I think the closest to that would be removal of sugars from my diet... this would be the closest "magic cure" I have found
the more sugar I ingest the more I want and on and on and on
and artificial sugars just make me crave the sugar so that's something for me to stay away from
I am all over the place with this post ....

did you see the list of good vs bad diets in 2017? google it
oh come on!!!
processed food diets, prepared meals were better rated that whole FOOD diets
PLEASE!!!!
people people people

we all want a quick fix
the diets with the prepared foods all made the list of best!!!
Jenny Craig and Nutrisystem???

REALLY??? buy this prepared food and all your weight loss problems will be eradicated.... 

nah that may be the solution for some and I wish this was me.... believe me I have tried this so many times, I tried the Jenny Craig diet for a while.... I had the entire weeks treats eaten before I even made it home!!!!! delicious! 
tootles.... finding my groove here in So Cal 





Monday, January 23, 2017

back to work we go

I am feeling so much better 
not 100% but better 
miracle of miracles!!!! 
had family from out of town, 9 days off, 
was sick and I still lost 2.6 pounds this week 
the week started off rough
eating in full force 
but I put the brakes on Thursday and kept focused 
didn't go crazy with I need this or that 
just counted and kept to the budget 
I was actually a little surprised this morning 
but my son and I are helping one another and 
we send Monday scale pictures to each other 
so 2.6 ... yeah I will take it 
let's try for a repeat!!! 
life is calm 
smooth sailing 
no trips 
just life in session 
time to chill and and do this 
peace 


Sunday, January 22, 2017

sick

I feel awful and have for a few days now 
 cough, sore throat the body ache 
I have to go back to work tomorrow so I may fight the waiting room at Kaiser today 
only because if it is strep throat that won't get better unless I go to the doc 
don't think so but just to be sure 
I am such a baby when I am sick 
don't want to do ANYTHING!!!! 
but I am back to work tomorrow so suck it up buttercup!!! 
ugh 
feeling this way is a drag 
tootles bloggity folks 

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

where is your focus?

don't focus on the weight. Focus on the behaviors 
I read this somewhere 
so yesterday was a great day 
I only got in one shake, and I did eat some Halo top 
but no binge 
no candy 
no chips 
zip a dee doo dah!! 
so I am just going to focus on good behaviors 
being committed 
we spent the day at the museum yesterday
I took food yesterday to LACMA
no more excuses Karla 
so this morning I may have to go to the gym in weirdoo clothes 
long story 
but I am going! 
no excuses 
tootles bloggity readers 

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

The best advise

this is so where I am at 
I am in the gym 5 days a week ... this week will be 6 days 
but my food is not good 
like not good 
not good 
well change doesn't happen when you are comfortable 
this is SO EVIDENT!!!! 
my trainer posted today about not being able to out train a bad diet 
YIKES!!! I need to get it together 
today I will be tracking 
drinking my shakes 
my water 
and NO CANDY!!!!! 
NO CHIPS!!! 
everyone around me seems to have it going on but me 
time to STOP the excuses 
I will post an update good or bad tomorrow 
just so over this 
tootles me bloggity crew

Saturday, January 14, 2017

the 3 me's

so the other day I blogged about
I don't care Karla, meh meh Karla and in the zone Karla

what do all these voices in my head think of one another
boy this girl is getting a little cray cray here
but just stay with me here for a minute
I don't care Karla envy's in the zone Karla and is afraid of the meh meh me

meh meh is wishy washy and not helpful, this state of mind is very destructive... tears me down with doubt, discontent and inability to stay committed, meh meh state of mind is actually MORE destructive to me than the I don't care state of mind...

at least I don't care is in some way at peace with my decisions and in the zone is DEFINITELY committed. Commitment is the sweet spot
now the meh meh state of mind.... the place I have been for seems like FOREVER 
more like about 6 months... truthfully 
this mindset is sooooo destructive for me 
I would rather be totally in the zone 
crazy annoying in the zone (which I am so capable of) 
than here 
this mindset destroys relationships 
destroys my confidence 
eats at me 
like a plague 
 no trust anymore 
so how do I get out of this mindset meh meh land? 
lobotomy? 
searching not for a way
I know there are a million ways to get where I want to go 
I just need the mindset 
hummm 
what to do? 
what to do? 



Thursday, January 12, 2017

don't care... meh... and in the zone

it's like there are a few Karla's living inside my head

I don't care Karla:
... whatever, you will never get to your goal weight, just eat what you want, eat it whatever you deserve it. You work in grocery store and how can you be expected to manage your weight around all this food, go for it!!! you can always worry about it tomorrow, don't workout whats the point .... she is a crazy gal... she loves donuts, Mickey D's and all kinds of cookies and chips... she has no stop button. Unfortunately she is LOUD!!! 

the meh meh meh Karla 
Weight Watchers
Jenny Craig
fasting
paleo
Whole 30
Shake system
no system
tomorrow
spend a zillion dollars on stuff I won't use 
join, un-join
follow, un-follow 
start ... stop 
so so so exhausting and demotivating... 

then there is in the zone Karla, but she is like trying to find a unicorn 
she is focused
driven 
elusive 
but she is in there.... somewhere 
and any or all the above ways meh meh Karla has zone Karla can make work 
this Karla hides.... she is like the bear that hibernates..
she hides then bam she makes and appearance out of nowhere... why? no clue 
what makes her appear? ... no clue
where was she all this time? no clue
I need to find this zone Karla 
cause truth be told I am a hot mess right now
anyone seen her? 
the in the zone Karla? 
she is around for like 3 days then I don't care Karla comes... followed by meh meh Karla 

 crazy town here 
tootles 






Wednesday, January 11, 2017

HOPE

it's the theme of this year 
HOPE 
I didn't do stellar last year 
but hey I am 57!!! 
so losing weight in a year is good 
so this year goal is to end in 150's 
maybe even 140's  
and NO it won't be done in the next 
few days 
but I will get there  
patience and trust 
good old fashioned work 
commitment  
I know I will get there 
maybe not the way you would 
but in my own way 
in my own time 
on my own 
I got this  
Hope 

Monday, January 9, 2017

Rainy day here is Cali

it is an event when it rains in Southern California
we don't know how to act 
some drive 20 miles an hour on the freeway
so sure they are speeding 
ugh!!! 
others act like the rain is nothing 
and continue their 80 MPH driving 
scary!!! 
I am always sure 
rain = bad hair day  
I don't have the rain proof boots
no rain proof coat 
no umbrella 
yep... I live in So Cal 
and everyone loves to cook during the rain 
the grocery stores are swamped
hahahaha I made a funny 
rain... swamped 
I love the feeling after the rain
how clean everything feels 
the air 
how green everything is 
meanwhile 
just chillin
tracking 
counting 
planning 
exercising 
my little heart out  
peace 
tootles 

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